When "Special" Becomes Spoiled

We’ve probably all seen a child in a tantrum fit lying on the supermarket floor, and a mother nearby wringing her hands with an obviously embarrassed demeanor and a kind of shrug as if to say, "What can I do? I’ve given him everything he asked for." Then the mom consoles the child with whatever it was he was demanding. The tantrum subsides, and the scene melts into the background of our awareness. Upon reflection, we may surmise that the little scene that just played out was one of many where the little darling turned tyrant through the power of having been previously accorded the rank of "being special." Such incidents may well invoke the caveat that it is we adults who determine such ranking, not the children.

In exploring how we foster this phenomenon, it seems important to know what we ourselves may be projecting on our children that calls for being "special." Quite often, such introspections can be revealing in terms of our own motivations. For instance, might we ponder to what extent we are living our lives through our children?

Granted, children are amazing and can be seen as much more adept, sophisticated, and generally brighter than we might imagine ourselves to have been at their age. We can recognize and appreciate the special qualities of children, yet whenever we begin to define in terms of "better than" and "less than," we begin to separate our commonalities that serve to link us together. Explore ways in which balance can be achieved in recognizing the importance of the individual and the reality that we are all one human family.

Opportunities to develop inherent gifts abound. Learn techniques to intuitively and logically discover how a child’s special qualities reveal their purpose for being. Children with multiple language skills may be geared toward a future of inter-country relations. Other children who do well with music may find purposeful outlets via the symphony, writers of children’s music or of soulful melodies. All the fine qualities are recognized, honed, and applied not in terms of "being somebody" but of having been graced with a gift to bring the world into a brighter place. Learn how to discover such qualities and how they can guide the child toward a life purpose.

Back to the supermarket: Have we ever wondered how often the produce items offered under the sign "Special" are usually just this side of "Spoiled"?