Healthy Habits Grow Healthy Children

Have we thought much about the subtle message that is conveyed when we ask a small child: "Do you WANT some of this or that to eat?" To what is that question really addressed? The mind or soul of the child? The best judgment of the child? Or is the question responded to by the child's tastes, likes and desires? Does he or she have any learned judgment about what is best for their body? If the parent is asked, what does the child NEED to eat, will that answer be the same as the child's WANTS? Would a nutritionist or pediatrician agree with the child's choices?

So how do these habits get started? Well, one way is for the parent to exclaim in the presence of the child what the parent LIKES or WANTS. Another is to ask the child what he or she WANTS. We only have to do that once to get the ball rolling in the direction of the child's desire nature as distinct from his or her physical needs. That's the beginning of a HABIT around food; a habit that may last a whole lifetime.

American kids are the most obese in the world according to recent reports, as are their parents. (For more information on childhood obesity in America, see the NCHS report.) Being in the buffet restaurant business where customers can help themselves both to what the body needs and to what the personality WANTS, is a real eye-opener as to how our parenting styles have changed from the days of a parent making choices for the child, preparing his or her plate, and expecting it to be eaten. Desserts and snacks used to be dependent upon the child cleaning the plate of what the parent chose to be best. It worked in past generations, even if not practiced in the most recent generation. It worked in generations where manners and respect for others, including parents, was such that arguing over food choices was virtually unheard of. It mostly had to do with how today's eating habits got started. A generation where a child who has no idea what or how much is best to eat is asked to make that determination, even as young as two years old, sometimes even younger. We see it all the time. And we see the results . . . often the child gets its demands (WANTS) met.

The Parenting Initiative has been launched nationwide. It is not about eating habits. It's more about parenting habits; and eating habits begin with us as parents.